New job opportunity

Deborah, trying to waste some time, went to the Kellogg's website. There are some new cereals here in Korea, which are not available in America. They are various bean cereals. One is red bean, one is black bean, and the last is another variety bean. They are expensive, though, and we probably won't buy them. We are fairly cheap.

More to the point, on their website there was a section for careers at Kellogg's. At first I didn't take much notice of this, because hey, it's Kellogg's. Who wants to work at a cereal company, licking the covers of the boxes, thus activating the glue to keep the boxes shut? However, Kellogg's has just a new cereal box, one that will help them compete with their shrewd competitors, Post and General Mills. Also, this new, state-of-the-art cereal box can be considered Kellogg's entrance into the profitable market of technology.

This cereal box will keep the familiar cardboard exterior with pictures of their loveable mascots, such as Tony the tiger and the disjointed chicken, but will have a metal interior. It has eye-recognition technology, and, once closed, will open only once it has scanned the eyes of the owner. All it takes to program who the owner will be the owner is a quick eye scan. This all sounds wonderful, but they have met with some serious problems so far.

Kellogg's has released the cereal boxes for testing in several supermarkets. Some frantic cereal lovers have scanned their eyes into all the boxes, and now the boxes will open for no one but them. What's worse, Kellogg's hasn't created a way for the programming to be reversed, so these boxes are lost. They can only be destroyed.

Also, teachers have been having more than the usual trouble teaching children.  School children are crouching over and holding their stomachs, whining that they're hungry.  Apparently, their dads, whose eyes are the keys that will open the boxes, have already left for work by the time they get up. Some fathers have remarked that they do this on purpose because they're sick of sharing their cereal.

Another group that has been affected by the new boxes is the blind. Some have bought the cereal thinking that it was just regular Kellogg's. When they arrived home, however, they were unable to open the boxes. Some, probably because of empty stomachs, were enraged. The National Institute for the Blind is already trying to sue Kellogg's for unfair treatment of blind people. The Kellogg's representative for this issue made things worse when, obviously frustrated by the accusers complaints, he insensitively attempted to fob off the accussers by saying, "Nonsense! Go cry your eyes out."

Despite these difficulties, Kellogg's plans to continue with its new cereal boxes, and they are already developing new models with built-in mp3 players so that people won't have to be bored while eating their breakfast.

With this new technology, Kellogg's will need technical writers to write clear handbooks on how to troubleshoot with these boxes when there's a problem. With my philosophical training, I think that I am amply qualified for this job, and so I've sent in my application. Just an update on our potential futures.